Harmony & Hoda

You know how some people are just — let’s make up a word — un-mad-at-able?

You know this person. Could be your fun aunt, your coworker, your lovely neighbor down the street who always smiles and waves at you. In the workplace, that coworker always knows how to lower the temperature when things get heated in the room, without even taking sides.

I had an employee on my team many years ago who was like this. His name is Franz, and he was from the Caribbean. People would be all sorts of angry at whatever their customer complaint was, and Franz would smile and speak in his laid-back accent while delivering great service and the issue would immediately be diffused.

I was so jealous of Franz.

People like this don’t avoid conflict, they just have this uncanny ability to hear people out and help move things towards a common outcome that everyone can live with.

That’s the CliftonStrengths talent of Harmony.

As I sat down in my blogging studio here at Cahen Ambler HQ, I tried to think of someone in media or entertainment that reminded me of my old co-worker Franz, and the person who came to mind was Hoda Kotb, formerly of NBC’s Today Show.

The Comfort Blanket of Morning News

Hoda Kotb was a long-time trusted journalist and morning news host who served in a supporting, not-so-hard news role at NBC’s Today Show. When one of the main co-anchors got the boot for doing awful things, Hoda was elevated to co-anchor with Savannah Guthrie.

Honestly, I had never been much of a morning TV news person. I like to get up and read a digital newspaper or two, scan some headlines and catch up on sports events from the night before at the start of my day. But in recent years, via marriage, I inherited NBC’s Today Show as the thing that would be on our TV while we were getting ready for the day.

The Today Show has always dipped in and out of seriousness — one minute, you’re hearing about international conflict, the next minute it’s a segment on five ways to use ricotta cheese. Most TV news people are good at one or the other, but in my observations — Hoda proved that she could handle both.

Hoda would grill politicians after a disaster and then pivot to laughing with Al Roker about the weather. I watched a lot of Hoda’s interviews over the years, and unlike certain confrontation bait journalists — she was never trying to stir the pot. She wasn’t chasing viral moments or letting an ego control the interview. She always brought steadiness and warmth. She gave off “let’s all be cool, talk to me” vibes, especially when it was most needed.

According to Gallup, people strong in the Harmony theme “look for consensus. They don’t enjoy conflict; rather, they seek areas of agreement”. Someone with Harmony talent understands that conflict can only get you so far, so they seek to limit it as best as they can.

Check out this clip that I found, of Hoda talking about “The Silent Treatment”. In it, she talks about how when conflict arises she has learned it’s best not to ignore it, but to have the discussion in an attempt to resolve it. That’s Harmony in action!

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Harmony Doesn’t Mean Weakness

Let’s be clear: people with Harmony aren’t pushovers. The talent gets a bad rap sometimes when people see theirs or others on their team’s results. Just based on our common understanding of the word, we often think someone with Harmony might want to always be in that state — so they must ignore their problems or fake their way through small talk so that they don’t have to tackle things head on.

Not the case. People with the Harmony talent usually just believe that alignment is possible and they’re willing to do the quiet work to get us there. When I saw Hoda interviewing someone involved with a scandal or some bad guy main character of the day, you rarely saw her forcing her own agenda on the interview subject. I can’t recall her using “gotcha” tactics to drive the narrative. What I usually saw was someone who asked thoughtful questions, listened carefully and did her best to make whoever she was talking to feel welcome and safe.

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Why Every Team Needs a Hoda

In a world where conflict gets clicks and outrage goes viral, Harmony might feel a bit “out there” to some organizations. Some folks tend to bring the style of interpersonal behavior that they see in the media into their own workplace. It’s more popular and common than ever, sadly, for people in the wrong to dig-in and be reluctant to admit wrongdoing and own up to their missteps.

Harmony isn’t a passive thing. It can be transformative when it helps a team move forward without getting stuck in the drama.

This may seem like an old man yelling at the clouds take, but just from my own observations – passive aggressive behavior is at an all-time high in the workplace. Just my own personal theory as to why, but it’s just so much more convenient to have those water cooler conversations from back in the day in group chats and DM’s.

I think that has caused a proliferation in gossip and conflict avoidance, at all times and in all digital places. Couple that with a generation, for both good and bad, who are very accustomed to sharing and oversharing everything, and that can be a formula for conflict running wild.

What I think can best combat those types of behaviors and keep them above board is to give the people with Harmony talent an awareness and opportunity to flex their strengths.

When people with Harmony feel empowered, they can help teams move forward without getting stuck in drama. They can keep conversations grounded in respect, even when there’s disagreement. They build bridges when others are burning them.

If you’ve got someone on your team with high Harmony, listen to them. They’re probably the person who can hear everyone out, hold the group together and remind everyone of the bigger picture.

Just like Hoda.